thoughts.

So, I've been drawing a lot since I've been in Taiwan. It is so nice to not be exhausted. I think being exhausted and uninspired really hindered my creativity. BUT...a couple of things that influence my work would have to be:

1. Conquering fear. I would say that as a life perspective, one of my big ideas (big for me, but nothing really monumental in the general sense) is taking a bad thing that happens in life and saying it's okay. I guess that deals with the difficulties I've had growing up. Making a conscious effort to say that something is only bad if we let it bother us.

With that being said, I feel inspired but this idea when I draw. I sometimes like to create frightening imagery in order to state that something is only frightening when you decide to let it bother you. And there are good reasons to be bothered by something frightening, but on paper, the frightening image can't hurt anyone. So, I feel like it's a good place for it to be. It's something that humanity wants to experience, but on paper it is much safer. Someone told me about risk-management recently. I like taking risks but only to a certain level. I'm babbly.

2. Discovering something in abstract forms and looking at in a way to that results in a surprising image. There are 2 areas where this started. One goes back to being a little kid and not being able to sleep. So I would have to crawl into bed with my mom and dad until much to old of an age — 11 or so. But something that I've done for hours and hours was wake up in the morning at stare at their plaster spackled ceiling and see marvelous shapes and images. It was amazing what I could see. The other is that I never know what to draw when I look at a blank sheet of paper. I am actually filled with a bit of anxiety staring down at it. So, what I do very often is start drawing until the spontaneous shapes morph into something. That's when I decide what I'd like to draw.